I got almost everyone's draft-- well done! Everyone will be able to make lots of improvement.
By now you should be seeing my edits and suggestions on your drafts! Please read all of them carefully. Fix the problems I describe.
Here are some notes to help you do better with your essays
Before you begin, make an outline.
Decide, What is my point?
State your point very clearly in the first paragraph.
Everything in the essay then supports that point.
Make a giant brainstorm of all the support you can think of for your point.
Organize your support into three (or more!) paragraphs.
Each paragraph is only about ONE KIND OF SUPPORT.
End with a conclusion. Tell me your point AGAIN.
Leave me with a deep thought.
I want to see FIVE clear paragraphs in each essay-- an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Also, make sure to WRITE YOUR NAME and THE DATE and an INTERESTING TITLE on the top.
Title your documents YOUR NAME & ESSAY # or TITLE.
For Example, my essay from this week should be titled Becca Ola Pono Essay #1
That way it's easy to find.
Only once the problem is fixed, you mark the comment "Resolved."
You don't need to share your essays again-- once they are shared with me, I can see them forever, and see all of your changes.
Please don't make a new document for your final draft. I need to see that you've responded to my comments and suggestions.
Don't say, "I think..." or "I believe..." or "In my opinion..." in your essays because it actually makes your argument WEAKER. Just say it like it's truth
Formatting: Everybody needs to use ARIAL, Normal Text, Size 12, normal 1" margins, not bold, not italic.
Go beyond the ordinary! Challenge yourself, challenge your thinking. Prove a totally different point from anyone else. Please, PLEASE don't use all one outline as a class. I was SO BORED reading these-- everyone kept saying the same thing over and over: physically, mentally, spiritually. Don't bore me while I'm grading you!
Last bit of advice: before 2 pm on Friday, READ your essay OUT LOUD to somebody else. Does it make sense? Do the words flow easily? If not, change it.
Mahalo!
Kumu Becca
No comments:
Post a Comment